Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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