he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
