you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
there is glitter all over my balls
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
