someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
