Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just high enough for therapy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
