Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Who died my cat blue again?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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