my being single is dangerous.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
