Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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