so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
