I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
