your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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