Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
