Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
