Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize