shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
