I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
