At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
