I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
