found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
