New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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