Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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