my mouth tastes like poor choices
I cockslap morals
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
