Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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