yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
