you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
