Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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