I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
