I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
