I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
