I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
