i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
