We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
