So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
