How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
