Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize