the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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