He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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