Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
