It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
