ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
