Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
