pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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