is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
