Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the condom got lost in my hair
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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