I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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