If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
