Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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