i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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