so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize