I could have mohawked her pubes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
