I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize