I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize