But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
