Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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