He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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