How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
