dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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