that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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