Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
