Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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