I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want to make out with him forever
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
