Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
