HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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