Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
