D3 body, D1 cock
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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