So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
