I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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